Back At One
by sparkles04
Summary: Sequel to Teacher's Pet. Most of story is Rated T. You DO NOT need to read Teacher's Pet to read this story.
1. Chapter 1

**This will be a short sequel, 4-5 chapters. Hope you enjoy!**

_**I own the story, that's it!**_

_Prologue_

There wasn't one single moment, but several. Several moments of disappointment, discontent and despair. Several moments when the love, the trust and the faith my wife had in me, slowly started to fade away.

How, you ask? How, when we were so in love, so mad about each other, so made for each other, how could this happen?

I could say I don't know. I could say things change. I could say feelings change. I could say people change. All of that would be true except for the first one.

I do know.

It's been five years. Five very long, life-changing years, since my little girl Alyssa was born. Everything was so perfect back then. We had two handsome boys, a beautiful baby girl, our dream house, jobs we both loved. We were so happy.

Things change.

My wife, the mother of my children, my best friend, my soul mate, the love of my life... a stranger. That's what we are to each other now. We still live in the same house, we still go by Mrs. and Mrs. We're still the parents to three amazing kids. We still love each other. At least, I know I still love her. The same may not be said for her. She doesn't have to say it, I can feel it, I can see it. She's not in love with me anymore.

Feelings change.

I can't say that I blame her. I'm not the same person I was when she fell in love with me, not even close, and I'm not the same woman I was when we made those vows_. "I don't even know who you are anymore,"_ She said to me one night after a long and very loud argument. To be honest,_ I_ don't even know who I am anymore.

People change.

I sat there in my empty office, in an empty house, alone. The silence was almost too much to bear. It brought back memories of my childhood. Except there wasn't a mean, bitch of a mother, to blame. It was all on me. Over the years I had slowly lost myself. Something would go wrong and I followed it with bad decision after bad decision, until, in true Ashley Davies fashion, I had fucked everything up. I handled everything wrong. What's new, right? Everything is always my fault; I'm always the bad guy. It could not be truer in this story. But the story isn't over. It ain't over until the fat lady sings, or… until I have fixed everything. And I will fix everything. I have to.

I picked up my phone and scrolled down the list of contacts. I saw her name and I sighed. I missed her so much and I needed her even more. After taking a deep breath, I hit the call button.

"Hey, Ash, is everything alright?"

You know things have gotten bad when that's the greeting you get, every phone call.

"Everything is fine. Well, things haven't changed, if that's what you mean."

"Sorry… So what's up?" She sounded tired.

"This is way overdue, but, I need you. I need your help."

There was a moment of silence, too long of a moment for my liking.

"Miranda?"

"I'm here, Ash. And I'll be there, as soon as I possibly can, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks. And I'm sorry it took so long to for me to ask."

"Well, you've always been a little slow." She let out a little chuckle and to me that was a good sign. The strain on my relationship with Spencer had, in return, caused a strain in my relationship with my best friend.

"Funny. Really though, thank you, Miranda."

"Don't thank me yet, Ash. I haven't done anything."

"But you're coming home, to help. That means more than you know."

I hung up the phone and tossed it back on my desk. Sighing and throwing my head back into the chair, I thought about Spencer. We had been through so much together, we could get through this. I had to believe that. My eyes traveled throughout the dim light of my office and landed on a picture of us from a few years ago. It wasn't a special occasion, just an ordinary day. She had just gotten home from work, the kids were at her moms and I had dinner in the oven, waiting for her…

_"Hey, babe." She leaned over and kissed my head as I sat on the couch, slowly strumming my guitar. This new song was a pain in my ass. I just couldn't get it right._

_"Still working on the same song?" _

_"Ugh. Yes. I'm about to give up." I set the guitar on the table in front of me and pulled her onto my lap. _

_"How was your day?" I asked after leaning in and kissing her perfect lips._

_"Long," She said, then sighed._

_"Well, I have dinner in the oven and since we have no kids tonight, you can have me for dessert."_

_I waggled my eyebrows and she shook her head. Not much had changed over the years._

_"Actually, how about we have dessert first?" We had at least a half hour before dinner was done, and I couldn't wait. _

_"Sounds good to me. Let me go get into something more comfortable." She groaned as she took her shoes off and rubbed her feet._

_"Here." I pulled her legs onto my lap. "I'll work my magic hands and give you the best foot massage ev-er."_

_"I thought you wanted to make love to me?"_

_"I'll massage your feet, and then I'll make love to you."_

_"My feet probably stink."_

_"Then I'll bathe you, massage your feet and then make love to you."_

_"This is just getting better and better." _

_I looked into her blue eyes, looking back at me with that sparkle that I had seen in them every time she smiled at me. They could be the only eyes I looked at for the rest of my life and every life after, and I would be perfectly okay with that. Looking into those eyes made me feel so happy, and so thankful. There wasn't anybody in the entire universe that was as lucky as I was._

_"Yeah, it sure does," I said slowly, hoping she got the double meaning._

_She grabbed her phone from her purse and pulled me close to her._

"_What's the occasion?" I asked._

"_I want to take a picture of this moment. So that if I ever need to, for some odd reason, I can always look back and remember how happy you make me."_

It was one of the best nights of my life. It was just an ordinary night, but extraordinary in every way, since I shared it with Spencer. I couldn't get that smile out of my head…that smile, that sparkle in her eyes.

It'd been way too long since I saw her smile like that.

I was suddenly awoken from thoughts, by the front door shutting.

I saw her pass by my office door, a sleeping Alyssa in her arms. I quickly made my way out of the office and followed her to the family room. She laid our sleeping beauty on the couch and kissed her on the forehead before covering her up with a blanket.

I leaned against the door frame and watched her as she gently stroked her hair. My eyes started to tear up, my chest tightened. I just wanted to reach out and touch her, caress her, hold her close to me. I missed her so much.

"She passed out as soon as I put her in the car. She had a long day," Spencer said, not bothering to look up at me.

Alyssa had started all-day kindergarten a couple weeks ago. She wasn't used to not getting a nap and every day she would come home a complete nightmare to deal with…or she would be asleep, like today.

"I bet," I said, choking out those two simple words.

"My mom picked the boys up from school. She's taking them to Chuck E. Cheese since she won't be here for their birthday party."

"Oh, okay. Um… did you need anything?" I asked quietly, nervously turning the ring on my finger, over and over.

Spencer looked up at me, a strange look on her face. But just as quickly as she looked up at me, she looked away.

"I went shopping before I picked her up; I left a few bags in the car. Can you grab them?"

"Yeah, sure."

She didn't look back at me. She just walked into the kitchen like I wasn't even in the room. This is how it had been for months. No conversation, no banter, no loving gestures, no... sparkle.

I should have never let it get to that point.

It was time.

It was time to put that sparkle back in her eyes.

It was time to put my marriage back together.

It was time to make us a happy family again.

I had to get all of that back, but first, I had to make my wife… fall in love with me again.

* * *

**_My apologies for it being so short. In the next few chapters you will find out what happened, while Ashley tries to win Spencer back. I want to hear your thoughts so far. Please?_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Thank you all for the inspiration you have given me. I hope I don't disappoint.**_

_**Thank you also to Steph and Mrs. Bee. **_

_I own nothing but the story._

* * *

_"One, you're like a dream come true. Two, just want to be with you."_

_**4 years ago…**_

"_Please don't go. Isn't there anything I can say to make you change your mind?" I gave her my puppy dog eyes and pouty lip. It usually worked._

"_Oh, Ash, pleeeeease don't bring out the puppy dog eyes."_

_I gripped onto her arms and pulled her into a bear hug. _

"_I'm going to be completely miserable without you, ya know? I am going to miss you like crazy and I'm going to call, like three times a day." _

_Chris rolled his eyes at me and I glared at him._

"_Ash, I'm going to miss you too and I love you."_

"_Call me if you need me, for anything, okay?" It was me who was going to need her. We both knew that._

_She nodded and wiped a fallen tear before pulling me in for another hug._

"_We gotta go, babe," Chris said quietly. _

_We were at the airport and I walked with them as far as I could go. I wasn't ready to let her go, I was never good at goodbyes, or see you laters, as she called this. Spencer and the kids had said their see you laters earlier and there were a LOT of tears. The kids, especially little Alyssa, had become quite attached to Miranda, and the boys both loved Chris. He was like a big brother to them._

"_I'll call you as soon as we land, I promise."_

"_You better," I threatened, swallowing the sudden lump in my throat._

"_Aww, Ash. Don't do that."_

"_I'm fine. You gotta go." I picked up her bag and put the strap on her shoulder._

"_Go, and don't forget to call."_

_She smiled and turned towards Chris._

"_Let's go."_

_He gave me one last glance and then nodded before taking her hand and starting in the other direction. Before they could get too far I pulled him back._

"_Whoa, geez Ashley!"_

"_You better take care of her, I mean it, or so help me I will come back to L.A. and beat your ass. Got it?"_

_I heard Miranda giggle behind him._

"_Got it?" I had to repeat, he stared at me with wide eyes._

"_I got it and I will," he said with a smile. "Now can you please let go of my collar?"_

_I let him go and straightened his collar for him._

"_Good bye, Ashley," he said softly. I was surprised to see the sadness in his eyes. _

_I watched them walk away, finally letting the tears fall. I was going to miss her so much. _

Miranda moved back to L.A. with Chris, and when she left, she took a piece of me with her. Sooo cheesy, but so true. She was my first _real_ best friend. She was a part of me that I was not happy letting go, but she had her own life. Chris was given the opportunity to rejoin his band, they were going to record an album, he couldn't pass the opportunity up. Miranda was able to find a job easily; she was a great psychologist, especially for someone so young. I wasn't surprised. She had helped me so many times.

* * *

It was a little after 9 p.m. as I sat at baggage claim waiting for Miranda. Her plane had just landed and I had to admit to myself that I was nervous. Excited but nervous. It was going to be so great to see her but if you know Miranda, you know she was going to give me hell about my situation with Spencer. In fact, she had been doing that for the past year.

I got a brief glance at my best friend as she rounded the corner and I jumped up out of my seat. When she came into view again, she had a big smile on her face, and I relaxed a bit. She dropped her carry-on bag and pulled me into her arms.

"So good to see you, Ash," She whispered in my ear.

I didn't respond. I couldn't.

My marriage was a disaster, my wife fell out of love with me, and I ruined our happy family.

I needed my best friend more than ever. The feeling of her arms around me, the comfort that warmth created, told me that everything was going to be okay.

She was here for me; she would help me get everything back.

"I'm going to help you fix this, Ash. You two belong together, forever. I'm here to help with whatever you need." She held my face in her hands and the tears slid down my cheeks.

"You've made quite a mess, ya know?"

I just nodded.

"It's okay. It's not too late. I don't think it would ever be too late. No matter what you think, Spencer still loves you."

She pulled me into another hug and I played those words over and over again in my head.

_Spencer still loves you._

Oh, how I hoped she was right.

The long car ride home consisted of me telling her how the last few months had been. She wasn't very happy with my lack of attempts at trying to put my marriage back together.

"You still love her, right? You're still in love with her?" She asked and I was disappointed in the fact that she even had to ask.

"Of course I still love her. I'll always love her. It's Spencer."

"Then what the hell is wrong with you? You still love her, yet you've made no attempt to show her that you still love her," she yelled and I almost swerved off the road.

"Sorry," she said in a now, very calm voice. "I just don't understand you, Ashley."

Uh oh, she called me Ashley.

"That makes two of us."

She sighed loudly before running her hands through her hair.

"You've made a lot of bad decisions over the years, but not so bad that you can't make one good decision to fix all of the bad ones."

"Wow, you are really good at your job, huh?" I laughed.

"Ash, do you remember when we were back in high school and I came over one day and found you with an empty bottle of vodka?"

"Yeah, I do. I could never forget that day if I wanted to."

_"What is wrong with me? Why can't I just be happy? I am trying my best to turn my life around. To be someone that my friends can depend on, be proud of, look up to. I am trying so damn hard but I take a step forward and get thrown two steps back." I leaned my head on her shoulder._

_"You don't have to go through this alone Ashley. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. When you start feeling like this you need to call me. Ashley, you're my best friend. I need you. If it wasn't for you I would still be hiding in my room wondering instead of doing. And you are that person to me. I know I can depend on you and I am proud of you. And I would look up to you but you're kinda short." She laughed. _

_"I need you like you need me. But I can't be the friend you need if you don't let me in. All the way in…not just a few steps, okay?"_

_"Okay," I said, my voice was quiet and hoarse._

_"No more vodka. K?" She rubbed my arm._

_"Yeah. No more vodka." I groaned._

_"Thanks Doc."_

_"Doc?"_

_"Yeah. Doc. You always make me feel better and you're kind of like a shrink. But you are so much better at helping me out then they ever were."_

_"That's because I actually care about you." She smiled sadly. "You didn't even need those shrinks, Ash. You just needed someone you could talk to. Like a friend. You got one. And I am not going anywhere. You're stuck with me." She stuck her tongue out at me._

_"Well, you're one person I don't mind being stuck with…Doc."_

"You're still stuck with me, Ash. I'm here as a friend and that's it, okay? You don't need a shrink; you just need to remember who you are and what you mean to everyone around you."

"You're right."

"Of course I'm right. Now tell me what you're going to do to get your wife back."

We talked the rest of the way home and I told her what my plans were. At the end, she smiled and said one word only, "Brilliant."

* * *

"Aunty M!" Alyssa ran and jumped into Miranda's arms. She was just as happy to see her as I was.

"Oh, little A, I missed you too, sweetheart. What in the world are you still doing awake?"

"She had a long nap, and she didn't want to go to bed without seeing you first," Spencer said, coming up behind her.

She was in her pajamas and had her reading glasses propped up on her head. She caught me staring and I looked away quickly. What the hell was wrong with me?

"It's so good to see you, Miranda," Spencer finally said, moving in and kissing Miranda on the cheek. Alyssa still had a good grip on her and I don't think she planned on letting go anytime soon.

"So what's going on? Ashley said you were coming but didn't say why." It shouldn't have felt weird hearing her say my name, but it did.

"Actually, I have some good news and I wanted to tell you guys in person," Miranda said excitingly. "Chris and I are getting married."

And let the squealing begin. Spencer pulled Miranda into a bone crushing hug. Poor Alyssa didn't know what was going on. She just knew mommy was happy and was squeezing the life out of her.

I smiled to myself, so happy to see Spencer happy. Then I berated myself internally, for being the reason for her not being happy for the past few months.

While Spencer and Miranda talked about all of the proposal details, I tucked Alyssa into her bed.

"What's wrong, momma?" Her little voice asked as I turned on her night light.

"Nothing, sweetie, why do you ask?" I kneeled onto the floor next to her bed and moved her bangs out of her face.

"You seem sad, a lot." Her little hand reached up and cupped my cheek and I had to fight the emotions that were threatening to break through.

"Momma is sad, Lyss. But that's going to change. I promise."

"You can play princess dress-up with me tomorrow. That always makes you happy." She smiled and I couldn't help but giggle.

"Yes, it does. But you have to promise that I get to be Belle this time."

"But you're a better Beast than me," She said so seriously, I giggled at her again.

"Fine, you can be Belle again."

"Yay."

"I'll tell you what; we'll make Aunty M be the beast. How's that sound?"

"Yeeeeah, and you can be Lumiere."

I held my arms out like the golden candle stick. "But of course, mon ami," I said in my best French accent.

There was nothing more beautiful than the laugh from my little girl.

"I love you, Lyss."

"Love you too, momma."

I kissed her forehead and turned around to find Spencer leaning on the door frame. I could have been mistaken but it looked like she had a few tears in her eyes.

"Mommy, we're gonna make Aunty M be the beast tomorrow. Raaawr!"

"So I heard. You better get some sleep then, sounds like you have an exciting day ahead." She walked over and gave her a quick kiss. "Night, sweet dreams."

I waited out in the hallway as she shut the door.

"My mom was going to bring the boys home around noon, but my dad invited us for dinner, so she's just going to keep them."

"Okay." I nodded and waited to see if she was going to say anything else.

"I can't believe Miranda is getting married, and in two weeks!" She was looking straight ahead and when I didn't respond she looked over at me.

"Yeah, it's crazy. I'm gonna have to have a conversation with Chris."

She smiled at me and for the first time in a long time, it seemed like a genuine one.

"I'm glad that she still has you to look out for her."

Her eyes stayed on me, like they were trying to tell me something. I couldn't respond, I just stared back. Finally she looked away.

"Good night, Ashley," she said quietly before opening the bedroom door and walking away.

I had gotten used to Spencer walking away from me, and I didn't have anyone to blame but myself.

_**3 and a half years ago…**_

"_I could not have a bigger headache."_

"_Sorry, Ash, I wish this guy had actually worked out. So you could be home more."_

_When Chris left, I had to manage the club myself. After a few months, it just wasn't working out. I was exhausted. Between teaching, managing the club and making time for the family, I had worn myself down. Spencer had to take me to the hospital when I passed out from exhaustion and dehydration. She talked me into hiring a new manager. Five managers later and I'm in the same position, spending all of my time, when I'm not teaching, at the club. _

"_I thought Brian was going to work out too. This is the third invoice he has messed up. What am I going to do with 50 cases of Miller Lite?" I slammed the invoice down on the desk and put my head in my hands. I was fuming and I was trying my hardest not to take it out on my wonderful wife who brought me dinner._

"_We'll figure something out, babe," She said, trying to be comforting. It usually worked. Not this time._

"_I'm gonna have to sell the club, Spence. There's no other choice. I can't do it anymore and I refuse to give up teaching." I stood up and paced around the room._

"_I think you should give it a little more time. You love this place, don't give up yet."_

"_It's been six months, Spencer! Six months and five managers. I'm tired of it. I just want it to be done with. I can't do my job, run this club and come home and be a good wife and mother. I just can't. I have to let go of this place."_

"_I understand that. I do. But you'll regret it, Ash. I know you. You love it too much and you'll miss it. Isn't that the reason you opened this place to begin with?"_

_She had a point but I had, had enough. _

"_Doesn't matter. I'm done."_

"_Ashley."_

"_SPENCER! You're not listening. I don't want it anymore. I'm tired and I'm out of patience. Can't you get that through your head?!" I regretted raising my voice as soon as the words came out. She looked pissed._

"_You need to get into your head, that I am on your side here," She yelled back. I hadn't heard Spencer yell like that in a long time._

"_I know you're exhausted from all of this but you will not take this out on me. I'm here to support you, always, but I'm not going to sit here and let you yell at me. I'll see you when you get home."_

_She walked out of the door, and I let her._

_I was at the club until a little after 11p.m. and when I walked in the door it was quiet and dark. Just a dim light from the kitchen lit the hallway. I set my bag down and headed upstairs. I had to be up in six hours for work, but first I had some apologizing to do. _

_After a quick shower, I slid into bed. I could tell by her breathing that Spencer was already asleep. I didn't want to wake her but I couldn't wait until morning to say I was sorry._

"_Spence," I whispered from behind her. She didn't budge, so I placed my hand on her hip and kissed her cheek._

"_Ashley?" She turned towards me. "When did you get home?"_

"_I'm sorry, Spence. I didn't mean to… I'm just, so tired, and I just want to come home to my family every night, instead of that place. I just want to leave work, come home and cook dinner, pick up the kids, spend time with my family. Being at the club, growing up, that was all I had. I have so much more now. You, the kids, you're all that matters now."_

_Her hand caressed my cheek, a feeling of comfort and relief washed over me._

"_I love you, Ashley," She said softly, "and I don't want you to regret anything."_

"_The only thing I regret is not spending enough time with my family."_

"_I'm sorry," I whispered again, leaning my forehead against hers._

"_I forgive you, always."_

When I got into bed, I wanted so badly to do what I had done that night. I wanted to slide my hand onto her hip, kiss her cheek and tell her I was sorry. But instead, I did what I had done every night for the last few months.

Nothing.

I was a coward, scared of her rejection. So afraid that she wouldn't want me touching her, so afraid that she would push me away.

She was asleep, flat on her stomach, facing me. She looked so beautiful, as always. Her blonde hair covered up some of her face, her mouth was partially open as she breathed deeply in and out.

God, I was such a fucking idiot.

Over the years, Spencer had never changed. She was still that gorgeous, caring, smart and strong woman that I had fallen, so fast and so hard, in love with. Now you could add, an amazing mother to that list. I always knew Spencer would be a great mom. Somehow she managed being Supermom, the perfect wife and her career as a college professor, all at the same time. I don't know how she did it, but it made me love her all that more.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate everything Spencer has done and I have never thought of her as anything less than incredible. It's me, whom I have lost all hope for. I had done everything in my power to push her away, yet she never left. Maybe Miranda was right, maybe she does still love me.

I looked over at my wife, sleeping so soundly, and couldn't believe she was still by my side. My hand reached over, without my permission, and moved the hair out of her face.

"I'm so sorry," I said to her. Of course, I had no problem saying that while she was asleep.

"I promise, I'm going to make everything right again. I'm going to make you happy again."

She stirred a bit, but then her breathing went back to normal. I lay there wide awake as the memories invaded my thoughts_._

_**3 years ago…**_

_I sighed as I put the last of my belongings into a box. Man, I was going to miss this place, this job, and the kids. I had just been let go, after 4 years, they just let me go. Apparently the music department was the first choice when the school board started making cuts. I argued, begged and pleaded, but in the end, it didn't matter. I was out of a job. I opened the door and reluctantly walked out. Leaving the job that I loved, and a big piece of me, in that room._

"_Hey babe, are you alright?" She sat down next to me on the couch and slid her arm around me. Her sweet and comforting voice, soothing me like it always did._

"_I'm still can't believe today was my last day." I leaned into her and she kissed the top of my head._

"_I'm sorry, Ash. I know how much you loved that job and teaching those kids."_

"_I did. It's just not right, Spence. How can they say that music isn't important? To teenagers, music is life. Some of them couldn't live without it; they wouldn't know how to cope without it." I was getting worked up to the point that I was now up and pacing._

"_I remember what it was like Spence, having to sit through those classes, algebra, chemistry, history; I remember how much I hated them."_

_She gave me a knowing look. She remembered how much I hated them too._

"_And before I had your class, Music and Art were the only reason I even showed up. They were the only thing I looked forward to."_

_She raised her eyebrows._

"_Okay, and some of the girls in those classes, but still… I wouldn't have went to school just for the girls."_

_She shook her head and stood up. Her hands rubbed my upper arms._

"_I love seeing you so passionate about this. Maybe you should consider teaching privately again."_

"_It's not the same, Spence. Half the kids I taught privately didn't even want to learn, their parents wanted it for them. The kids in my classes wanted to learn, they love music, and they wouldn't be able to afford private lessons."_

"_Then teach them for free. Meet with their parents and get permission."_

_I smiled from ear to ear. Spencer understood me, like no-one ever had. _

"_That sounds like a great idea, babe. I don't own the club anymore but the Music Room is still mine. I suppose I could re-open it."_

"_Sounds like you have a plan then." She gave me a quick kiss, grabbed her purse and headed towards the front door._

"_Where you going?"_

"_To the grocery store. I'm going to make your favorite meal tonight. Make sure you help the boys with their homework." She blew me a kiss and I winked at her._

Things were good for a while after that. At least until I decided to do a short summer tour with my father. I was aching to get on stage again and he wanted so badly to tour with his daughter. It was a three month tour but I only lasted a month. Although I loved doing the shows every few nights, I missed my family. Spencer, of course, was nothing but supportive, but she needed me at home. She would never say it, she didn't have to, and I knew it from the tone in her voice. She was tired and it seemed as though she was keeping something from me. I had to go home.

I just had to tell my dad and hope he would understand. One night, after a show, I went to look for him. I found him and to this day I still can't get the image out of my head.

**3 years ago…**

_I ran as fast as I could back to the bus. The tears moving even faster down my cheeks. I opened the door and slammed it shut but it popped back open and he appeared in the door way._

"_Ashley, let me explain," he whined._

"_There is nothing to explain. You were there, with that woman, how could you?" I cried._

_He shook his head, trying to find the words._

"_Don't bother. Nothing you say to me right now would justify you cheating on your wife."_

"_Ashley…"_

"_Don't!" I didn't want to hear his excuses._

"_It was just this one time, I swear."_

"_And that makes it okay?"_

_He put his head down and I shook mine in disgust._

"_Who are you? Is this who you've always been? Is this what you do when you're on tour? You sleep with random women with no regards to anyone or anything else?" _

"_Since I've been married to Janet, it was only this once," he replied, tears now forming in his eyes. I looked away. I didn't care if he was upset._

"_I'm leaving, tomorrow. I'm going home to MY wife. And you better go home to yours, and tell her what you've done."_

"_Ashley, Princess…"_

"_Don't call me that. I can't even look at you."_

"_You can't just leave in the middle of the tour."_

"_I can, and I am." I walked to the back of the bus and before I slammed that door shut I said to him, "Tell her, or I will."_

I went home the next day. He didn't. He stayed on tour. After three months of seeing Janet, and keeping the secret from her, I told her. Things with my dad were bad after that. She forgave him, I couldn't. It wasn't just the fact that he cheated on Janet, that he betrayed Alyssa's mother, or that he tried to make excuses for it. It was the fact that he was too much of coward to tell her. It was the fact that he made me tell her.

It wasn't too much later that my mother showed up on my doorstep, begging for forgiveness, a second chance, and time with her grandchildren.

_**2 years and 4 months ago…**_

"_What are we going to do?" I asked Spencer._

"_What do you want to do? What does your heart tell you to do?"_

"_My heart?" I sighed and closed my eyes._

"_My heart tells me to give her a chance to prove she's changed."_

"_And your head?"_

"_My head tells me that I'd be a freaking idiot if I did that. I don't have just myself to worry about now, I have the kids too and I won't let her break their hearts."_

_She was holding my hands and she gave them a gentle squeeze. _

"_You know that whatever you choose, I'll stand by you. If you want to give her this chance, we'll give her a short leash. She can see the kids, but they won't know she's their grandmother, at least not until we know for sure she is going to stay in their lives. And she won't spend any time with them, unless one of us is with her."_

"_I don't know, Spence. The whole thing scares me."_

"_I know, but everyone deserves a second chance, right? She's your mother, Ash. Can you really turn your back on her?"_

_I wanted to, trust me. But Spencer was right. She was my mother and I had to give her the chance to prove herself. It had been nearly a decade since I had seen her last. It was possible that she had changed, right?_

_A week had passed since she came back into our lives and she had been over to the house twice already. In the few hours I had spent with her, I saw a different woman. She showed care and concern and an un-forced interest in the kids. Especially, Alexander._

"_He plays rather well by himself." She noticed._

"_He'd rather play by himself. He doesn't like to be bothered."_

_We sat and watched as he put a 500 piece puzzle together. Yes, it was a big puzzle for a five year old. He didn't have any problem though._

"_He sure is a smart boy, Ashley. Do you have him in any special classes?"_

"_Actually we do. But not the kind of classes you think. He is autistic, mother. He has Asperger's Syndrome."_

_Spencer had taken him to see a specialist while on was on tour. She broke the news to me when I got home._

"_Oh, wow. That's too bad." I don't think she knew what to say._

"_It's alright. He is an amazing boy." I looked down at my handsome son and smiled._

"_How did you find out? Has he always been so good with puzzles?"_

"_Actually, yes, but not just puzzles."_

_I went on to explain everything that had happened. Like many people with Asperger's Syndrome, he was exceptionally well with numbers. At 3, he could count to one hundred. He would count everything, wherever we went, whatever he saw. By age 4, he knew how to add and subtract and that's when he started putting puzzles together. At first, just small puzzles and then gradually they got bigger and more difficult. We thought he was just super smart and a very different child. He was in fact, different. His interactions with his brother and even us, his obsessions over minor things, his need to have a strict daily routine and having a meltdown when his routine was disrupted, his knowledge of numbers and problem solving abilities at such a young age, all of these things had the doctors alarmed, as well as Spencer and myself. We had a hard time excepting it at first; we spent thousands of dollars on research. Finding a cure became a hopeless cause. Finally we learned to move on and forward as best as we could. We realized that even though Alexander would never live a normal life, he still had a great future ahead of him._

"_He's an extraordinary kid. And you're right; he will do great things, Ashley."_

_I still had a hard time getting used to my mother this way. She had certainly changed a lot over the years. _

"_Yes, he will," I agreed._

"_You almost done, bud?" I asked Alexander._

_He didn't answer._

"_Are you almost finished with the puzzle, Alexander?"_

_I repeated, this time in proper English. I had to remember that I couldn't talk to him the same way I talked to his brother._

"_I am not finished yet. I still have one hundred and thirty two pieces to configure."_

"_As soon as you are finished, I need you to get cleaned up and ready for dinner."_

"_Yes, mother," He replied, his little fingers twisting and turning to fit pieces into place._

_I looked over at my mother, who was looking back at me with a smile I had never seen grace her perfectly re-constructed face. _

"_I'm so proud of you, Ashley. You're a wonderful mother. I'm sorry that I was never the kind of mother you needed." _

_She started to cry and I found myself by her side, trying to comfort her. _

_I never thought I would hear those words come out of her mouth or me, by her side, trying to make her feel better._

As proud as I was, of my mother, in that moment, as happy as I was that she was finally trying to be the mother I had always wanted and deserved, I knew those feeling would not last. She was around for a little more than five months. Just long enough to gain the trust of me and Spencer…and leave a big dent in our savings account.

My mother needed money of course.

"_I want a chance to get to know my family better; I want to spend more time with my grandchildren. But I'm not well, my dear. I have damaged heart valves. They need to be replaced and I have no money and no insurance."_

After a visit to her doctor, we found out, she wasn't lying. I couldn't help but joke with Spencer about my mother's damaged heart and how I was surprised there was even one in there at all.

She was my mother though, and I couldn't do nothing. So I wrote her the check of course.

And she was gone the next day. She never showed up for her appointment. Apparently, her health wasn't that important to her.

I was fooled once again.

I felt like I was in high school again, with two parents who only cared about themselves, with two parents who continuously broke my heart.

My mother had taken something from me; she took away my trust in people. She had taken away the trust I had in myself.

I had a hard time dealing with her betrayal, especially considering how many times I told myself, I shouldn't believe her, she would just hurt me and my family.

I let her in anyway and that's exactly what she did.

* * *

I finally fell asleep a little after two in the morning and was up at seven. I had a lot to do in the next few weeks. Win my wife back, help plan a wedding, win my wife back.

Spencer was still asleep when I rolled out of bed. I headed downstairs and was surprised to find a groggy Miranda sitting at the islander, sipping on a coffee.

"You're up early."

"Mm," She mumbled quickly before taking another sip of her coffee.

I poured myself a cup and sat down next to her.

"So you think we can pull it off? A wedding, in two weeks?" I asked her.

"No problem. It's going to be amazing, Ash."

"I sure hope so, coz anything less would be a disappointment."

She shook her head at me, smiling behind her coffee cup.

"You gonna take Spence dress shopping with you today?"

"Uh huh."

"Did you tell her you wanted to have it here, on the lake?"

"Uh huh."

"She's okay with that?"

"Uh huh."

"Can I slap you if you say, 'uh huh' one more time?"

"Uh…uh." She took another sip of her coffee, walked to the sink and poured the rest out.

"Don't you think you should get started on breakfast? Spencer will probably be up soon."

"Uh huh," I replied. She laughed and threw a wet wash cloth at me.

"Well then, get started!"

* * *

I had just finished setting the table, a tall glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, a plate filled with a Spanish omelet (her favorite), strawberries and melon, and a few lilies from the garden, were placed in a vase. I just had to wait for her, I knew she was awake, I could hear her moving around upstairs.

Miranda had taken Alyssa out for breakfast to give us some alone time.

I was so nervous. I wasn't sure how she was going to react. When she finally came downstairs and rounded the corner. I tried my best to smile but I think all I mustered up was an awkward stare.

"What's this?" She asked.

"I, uh." Great. I had resorted back to that girl back in high school, only able to form one to two letter words when she was near.

"Breakfast," I finally managed to spit out.

She gave me that strange look again. I had been getting that look a lot lately.

I walked over to her chair and pulled it out.

"Sit. Please."

She slowly walked over and sat down.

"Wow, I…" She said quietly.

"What's going on, Ashley?" She asked, even quieter.

The fact that she even had to ask that made my heart hurt. I used to always make Spencer breakfast, nearly every morning. But she had every right to ask.

I sat down next to her and faced her, so many emotions being held back. I had to get this out. My fingers started twisting my ring again. I should not have been that nervous, it was Spencer after all.

She looked down at my hands and covered them with her own. I was so distracted by her touching me, the gesture, the warmth, all of the feelings, all at once, I just sat there staring at her hands.

"What's going on and why are you so nervous?"

I took a deep breath and told myself to stop being a coward.

"I know things haven't been good between us and… that's all my fault."

She let go of my hands and turned so she was facing the table, her eyes straight ahead.

I sighed and swallowed the big lump that was forming in my throat.

"This," I pointed between the two of us, our behavior. "This isn't right and… it's my fault."

"This," I pushed her plate towards her. "This is my way of trying to make things right again."

Her eyes stayed on the window in front of us and she stayed silent.

"A lot has happened. I have a lot to make up for. I have to start somewhere. Will you let me try?"

She finally looked away from the window and down at her plate.

"Is it a Spanish omelet?" She asked before turning her head and wiping her face. I think she was trying to hide that a tear had just fallen from her eye.

"Of course, it's your favorite."

"Thank you," She said with an ache in her voice.

I guess that was a start.

We ate mostly in silence, only talking about the upcoming wedding when we did talk. She was excited about helping Miranda with all of the details. That smile on her face, the tone in her voice, took me back to better times. I knew I never wanted it to go away again.

The three of them went out dress shopping when Miranda and Alyssa came back from breakfast. I got to work on some plans of my own for the wedding and also some plans to …woo my wife. It never used to be so hard to think of things. It just came natural to me. This time was different though. The situation was different. I sat at the table staring at the vase of lilies I had just put there hours before. The vase had been glued back together. I went back…

_**2 years ago…**_

"_I'm going back on tour. It's the quickest way for me to make some money." She was filling a vase with flowers from the garden. The vase I had gotten her for our second anniversary._

"_You didn't plan on talking to me about this first?" _

"_Spencer, I have to do it. We have no money in our savings. I talked to my dad's old manager and he has a spot on this small tour in Europe. I would only be gone for four months."_

"_Only four months? Four months is a long time, Ashley. Especially, when things have not be the greatest between us." She was noticeably angry and took a seat at the kitchen table._

"_Exactly, maybe we need some time apart. I've been such a disappointment to you. Maybe I need to go away for a while."_

_Things had been bad between us since my mother took off with our money. I was mad and I seemed to take it out on everyone._

"_No, what you need to do is stay here so we can work on everything. That's what a marriage is about, working on our problems, together."_

"_We need the money and I need to get away." The look on her face killed me inside._

"_Is that what you really want? You want space?" _

_She was up in my face now and hers was beat red._

"_You want to leave? You think that will help with our problems?"_

_I nodded._

"_You're wrong. It will just make things worse." She backed away and walked towards the patio door._

"_We need you, Ashley. Your family needs you. I need you." She wiped her tears._

"_I know your mother hurt you. But I am not your mother. I love you. And I know she made you feel like a fool. But you're not a fool."_

_Suddenly she was walking towards me. She reached out and held my face in her hands._

"_You… are an amazingly, beautiful woman. The fact that you forgave your mother and let her back into your life, it doesn't make you a fool, it makes you human. She's your mother, Ashley. Of course you wanted to believe her; of course you wanted her back in your life. I did too."_

_We just had this conversation not too long ago about my father. She said that he was an ass but she knew that he loved me. She always knew the right things to say. But it didn't matter. I had already made up my mind and I was stubborn._

"_I love you too, Spence, but I have to do this. It will give me some time to think and I'll make up the money we lost in no time. I'll come home when I can and I will call every day. Your mom, dad and Glen promised to help out. I'm leaving in two weeks."_

"_So that's it? You've made this decision on your own and there's no way to talk you out of it? Nice, Ashley. And when did you talk to my family about this? This is just wonderful."_

_She went from crying to screaming, to hysterically laughing and then back to crying. She picked up the vase of flowers and started re-arranging them. _

"_If I stay here, I will just get more and more angry with myself and take it out on you even more. I have to make things right. I have to get the money back."_

"_I don't care about the stupid money, Ashley." She was so angry she threw the vase of flowers into the sink. It scared me and I think it even scared her. _

"_I care about you and about this family." She was suddenly calm but she was staring at the cracked vase in the sink and I knew it wasn't the only thing that had broken._

"_I care about you and this family too, that's why I have to do this."_

"_I guess that's it then," She said, a mixture of anger and sadness in her voice._

She walked out of the room and barely talked to me for two weeks. I left for tour and things just got worse between us.

My way of making things right, was all wrong.

Not this time though.

* * *

_**Thoughts? Good or bad, I'll take them :)**_


	3. Chapter 3

I apologize for the long wait. This truly was the first possible chance I had to get this to you. Hope you enjoy!

Thank you to Steph and Smurfie! You guys are awesome.

I own the story only.

_For Freckles_

* * *

_"Three, cos it's plain to see, that you're the only one for me."_

A few days had passed, dresses had been chosen, personal phone invitations had been taken care of, and I had just got off the phone with the catering company. Things were going smoothly and I sighed in relief. I had to give her the perfect day. She deserved that and more.

I was looking at a flower website when there was a knock at the door.

"Hi!" I was shocked to see him and a little uneasy. He was never one to hide his disappointment in me. "What brings you by?"

"Well," he said and then walked in holding two fishing poles, "I think today would be a good day to fish, Ashley. Got some time for me?"

"Of course, just let me change my clothes."

Arthur and I had this routine that we had started years ago. When I needed to talk, he would come by and we would go fishing on the lake. I was actually quite good at it now. It might have had something to do with Mr. C teaching me and not a hot blonde who was veeeery distracting.

"So how are the wedding plans going?" He asked after casting his fishing rod and reeling back a bit.

"Very good, actually. Spencer and Miranda both picked out their dresses. I just have to pick one and do a few other minor preparations."

"I think you're doing a wonderful thing. She is going to be so happy."

"I hope so."

"Things have been better with you and Spencer?"

"I think so. I've been trying, I really have. I know I've let her down. I've let everyone down, and I'm sorry. I'm doing my best to make up for it."

"You don't have to try so hard, Ashley. You just have to be you."

"For a while, I didn't know who _I_ even was anymore. But I'm finding my way back and now I just have to find my way back to Spence, or the other way around."

"The two of you have overcome a lot of obstacles. I don't think there is anything you can't get through."

He set down his pole and put his arm around me.

"I'm counting on you to make my little girl happy again."

I looked up at him and he smiled that comforting Arthur Carlin smile. The smile that his daughter continuously swooned me with over the years.

"And in the process, I'm hoping that you'll find your happiness again as well."

**2 years ago**

_Three months so far on this tour and I was ready for it to be over. I had a constant headache and I didn't know if it was from the lack of sleep or the stress I__'d__ put on myself to write. I can't write. Call it writer's block, call __he __what you want, I can't write. I've forced myself to sing songs that do not belong to me. Why, you ask? Because I can't get up on that stage and sing a song that I wrote for or about my wife. I just can't. I see her face in my head, or in a random girl in the crowd, smiling, crying, and I can't. I've disappointed her, I know. I've hurt her, I know. I hear the sadness in her voice when we talk, even though she tries so desperately to hide it. She's strong for the kids, and even for me. Although she isn't happy with me right now, she still supports me. She's still standing by my side, though a thousand miles away. But like before, when I was a teenager, I can't do this without her. I don't think I was meant to._

_I scratched out the fourth line I tried to write in the last hour. My head was hurting once again and I banged it against the wall behind me. _

_It was happening again. I was starting to feel sorry for myself and I had no right. I had everything. _

_I picked up my phone and called her. She picked up just as I was about to hang up__._

"_Hey." She sounded sleepy, and it wasn't until then that I realized it was 3 in the morning._

"_Is everything alright?"_

"_Yeah, sorry, I just realized what time it was."_

"_It's okay."_

_The sound of her voice was so soothing. __I didn't want to talk, I just wanted to listen; __to her voice, to the sound of her breathing._

"_Ash? What's wrong?" _

_After a few seconds of silence…_

"_I just…__ miss you," I whispered. I wasn't even sure if she heard me._

_It was silent again and for a moment I thought I had lost the connection. Then I heard her sniffling. _

"_Spence?"_

"_I miss you too," she finally whispered back._

Things were good for a while, until my face started showing up on gossip magazines. At first it was just stories about me and my dad. Our estranged relationship, how I caught him cheating, how I wrecked his marriage even though they were still together. Then there were stories about how I was a diva, the over-privileged daughter of a rock star. I did a good job of ignoring it at first, trying my hardest to concentrate on Spencer and our kids. But, things got ugly of course. Pictures of me in a compromising position graced the cover of every gossip magazine printed. Suddenly I was a bad daughter, or good, depending on the reader, and I was a cheater. Brandon, my bassist, had a thing for me and tried to kiss me while highly intoxicated, right outside of a venue we had just performed at, in front of several loitering fans. I didn't have anything to hide; I didn't kiss him back, I didn't even like the guy as a friend, I didn't cheat. But I didn't bother to even warn Spencer of the pictures. For some reason I still haven't come up with, I never told her. She found out on her own when she looked up and saw the magazine while waiting in line at a grocery store. She was furious, embarrassed, disappointed and hurt. Who could blame her?

It wasn't the kiss that had hurt her, it was the fact that I didn't tell her about it. It was the way she found out. It didn't help that this wasn't the first time it had happened.

The distance didn't help out the situation either. I hadn't seen her or the kids in months around the time it happened. I could feel myself losing her, and I just sat back, feeling sorry for myself, and let it happen.

I began to party with the band, drinking a lot and barely sleeping. Phone calls with Spencer usually ended in an argument. I also began forgetting things, but nothing more important than my boys' birthday. Spencer was so angry with me, I was angry with myself. I couldn't wait for the tour to be over with. I thought things would get better. They didn't. I returned home and could instantly see the disappointment in her eyes. It killed me. We drifted further and further apart to the point we were at now, almost strangers. Two people living together just to take care of their children. I tried to make up for being a horrible wife by being the best mother I could be and in return, I spent more time with the kids than with my wife and it only hurt us more. We were civil to each other, but that was all we were to each other. With every day that passed, I lost my wife, and my way, a little more. I don't know why or how I let it go on for so long.

* * *

After Mr. C. left, I got things prepared for my date with Spencer. I was taking her out for dinner. But we weren't going where she thought we were. I was packing the car with a few things when she pulled up. Hurriedly I shut the trunk and she gave me a suspicious look.

"Should I be worried?" She asked, walking up to me. She was wearing her usual work attire. A gray and white, pinstriped pant suit with a white blouse underneath. The top 3 buttons were undone and I found myself staring. When I met her eyes, it was obvious she was amused. It had been too long since she had giggled at my actions.

"What's in the trunk?" She asked.

"Uhhhh, hmmm, well... it's not a dead body."

She gave me a strange look.

"Well that's a relief."

"Yeah. Uh, it's nothing. No worries, I promise."

"Okay then. I'm going to go take a shower and get ready." She turned around and walked towards the house.

After putting the last item in the truck, I headed in the house and made my way upstairs. I needed to get ready myself. I heard the shower running the moment I walked into our bedroom and noticed the bathroom door was open. My heart stopped momentarily. Like everything else, it had also been a long time since I had seen my wife naked. I found myself walking slowly towards the open door, stopping just before it and leaning up against the wall. I closed my eyes and my mind wandered back to better times…

_The warm water felt wonderful on my aching body as it hit my back and slid down over my tired legs. I closed my eyes and relished in the feeling of warmth all around me. It wasn't just the water; Spencer had joined me in the shower and wrapped me in her arms. _

"_Long day?" She asked as she kissed my neck innocently._

"_You have no idea," I said and added a groan._

"_Tell me."_

"_My students were full of energy today and I had a hard time getting them to concentrate. Then I had to stop at the club and help Chris out. I just got home right before I jumped in here."_

_Her hands started to soothe and massage my shoulders._

"_Well it's almost spring break. I bet they're anxious to get out of there. How is Chris? I haven't seen him all week. Are they still fighting?"_

"_He's overwhelmed and I don't think the distance from Miranda is helping."_

"_So they are still fighting?"_

"_I think so. She's been quiet.__"_

_Miranda and Chris had gotten into a fight about finding a place of their own. Chris wanted to move out and live alone with her, but Miranda was so busy with school that she didn't want to make the change. We were happy with whatever they decided._

"_We should sit down and talk to them." I didn't want to interfere in their relationship, but they both needed a kick in the ass. _

"_How about we worry about that later?" She whispered in my ear._

_I turned around and pulled her into me, eliciting a moan from my beautiful wife._

"_I think that's a good idea."_

_She pushed me up against the cold tiles and slid her knee between my legs. Spencer rarely took charge, so in moments like this, I was really turned on. Waaaaay more than normal. _

"_You're not too tired__,__ are you?" She asked before nibbling on my ear._

"_Uh, um.." Her tongue distracted me as it made its way from my ear, down my neck, over my shoulder and started circling my nipple._

"_Uh, um?" She asked as she looked up at me, blue eyes dark, bottom lip between her teeth. _

_Fuck!_

"_No. Not tired. Not at…" Her hand slid up my leg and stopped just below my now aching center,__"all."_

"_Good," she said as she positioned herself in between my legs. "Because__ I had a very boring day, and all I did was fantasize… about doing this__."_

Remembering that day, and knowing that my wife was ten feet away, naked and wet, got me a little excited. I backed off the wall and walked right into the bathroom, not thinking at all. She was just stepping out of the shower and I startled her. She dropped the towel she was holding and stood there frozen as my eyes raked over her still, well-toned and dripping wet body. Neither of us said a word and I couldn't read the look in her eyes. No, I still couldn't read my own wife sometimes. My body started walking towards her without my permission. I was scared as to what was about to happen, so afraid of being rejected by this woman and the body that mine used to ache for, still ached for. As I got closer I noticed her eyes widen, she was scared too. It was too soon. My head dropped to the floor, my eyes closed. It was definitely too soon. I spotted the dropped towel and bent down to pick it up. Slowly, I made my way back up, my eyes once again taking in every bit of her body, every droplet of water on her warm, reddened skin. She stopped breathing and when I handed her the towel, she finally let out a breath.

"Sorry," I said, looking into those fearful eyes. "I'll go get ready in the other bedroom."

"Ash…"

"It's okay."

I showered and threw on a pair of jeans and a nice red blouse. The entire time thinking about naked Spencer and the way she stopped breathing when I was close to her. That had to be a good sign, right?

When I got downstairs, she was waiting for me. Her hair was down and she was wearing a pair of jeans as well, and a long-sleeved, light blue shirt. The shirt brought out the color of her eyes and I couldn't look away once again. This time she smiled.

"Ready?" She asked and I nodded, unable to speak.

"We have to pick up the kids by ten o'clock."

I nodded again and opened the door for her.

"So where are you taking me?" She asked, finally breaking the silence. The car ride had consisted of her looking out her window and me trying my hardest not to slide my hand over the console and into hers. I shook my head at myself. She was my wife; I should at least be able to hold her hand.

"You'll see in about twenty minutes," I replied, not taking my eyes off the road.

"Ashley?"

"Yeah?" I finally looked over at her.

"I'm happy that you've been doing everything you can to give Miranda the wedding she deserves. She's done so much for us over the years." I felt her warm hand as she laid it on top of mine and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. She's my best friend and she's family, not to mention she's saved my ass more than once."

She squeezed my hand again and chills ran up my spine. It was just a simple touch, but it was so much more than that.

"You saved her too."

As we got closer and closer to our destination, I knew she figured out where we were going. When we pulled into the abandoned lot, her lips curled up into a smile.

"This is where we had our first date." She turned towards me and I could have sworn I saw a glimpse of that sparkle in her eye. I smiled at her, unsure what to say. I was just happy to see her happy.

"Come on." We both got out of the car and headed towards the trunk. I handed her a blanket and told her to find us a good spot.

"I don't know, it's pretty crowded here. But I'll do my best," She joked. Another good sign, right?

She found a spot and sat down as I brought the picnic basket out of the trunk along with a few more blankets. It was near 70 degrees out but the sun was going down and I knew Spencer would get cold.

"What's for dinner?" She asked as I sat down next to her.

"Someone hungry?"

"I'm starved."

"Well," I pulled out a few containers, "I made some salad with grilled chicken, strawberries and pecans."

"Another favorite of mine." She smiled and it distracted me, I couldn't stop staring. It was like I was seeing her smile for the first time.

"And…what else?" She laughed. It clearly still amused her when she did this to me.

"Well, I have some dessert too, but you have to eat dinner first."

She tried peeking into the bag and I pulled it away from her.

"Dinner first, Mrs. Davies."

"Awww, no fun," she pouted. So cute.

"I did bring a very delicious drink to have with our salad."

I pulled out two wine glasses and handed them to her. When she saw the Coca Cola she laughed. I poured an equal amount into each glass.

"It's been so long since I've had a coke," she said excitedly.

"Well that's because you've banned caffeine in our house."

"That's not true. We have our coffee every morning, and have you seen our kids without the caffeine."

We both laughed and everything in that moment felt so normal, so natural and I realized even more, how much I missed it.

"Well, should we make a toast?" She held out her glass. "To…"

"New beginnings." I held my glass close to hers and we clinked them together.

"New beginnings," she repeated.

We sat and ate our salads, talking about the wedding and the kids. Again, everything felt as it used to feel, as it was supposed to feel.

"Being here, I can't help but think back to all those years ago. I fell so hard for you, Ashley," she said after we finished our salads and sipped on our cola.

"You weren't the only one who fell hard."

"Things seemed so complicated back then, and now that I look back, they seem so simple." She looked down at her hands. I opened my mouth to reply but she went on.

"I remember the exact moment I knew I was in love with you." Her eyes were still closed and she smiled. I let her go on.

"It was your birthday and we were at the site of that house we were working on."

_**Spencer's P.O.V**_.

_I was just about to leave when I noticed her car. What was she still doing here? I found her in the half built garage, still working away. Leaning up against the frame, I watched and waited for her to notice me. She looked so good in those jeans. The things this girl was doing to me. She finally turned and saw me;__I smiled._

_"What?" She asked, smiling back._

_"You know everyone else has left__,__right?" I crossed my arms over my chest._

_"Really? Well I was dry so I just figured I would keep working. At least until you left. Are you leaving?"_

_"I was about to when I noticed your car was still here."_

_"So everyone is gone?"_

_"Yep. Just you and me here." _

_She smiled again, but this time it was a mischievous smile. Uh oh!_

_She walked towards me and I tensed up. I let her pull me into the unfinished side of the garage and into the rain._

_"What are you doing__,__ Ashley?" I tried to wiggle my way out of her grip but she held on to me tighter._

_"Dance with me," she ordered. She was inches from my face and I couldn't stop staring at her lips. _

_"What?" _

_"Dance..with…me," she repeated._

_"You're crazy. It's raining if you haven't noticed."_

_"I've noticed." Her head tilted back and she let the rain fall on her face._

_I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She truly was something._

_"Please dance with me?" She begged._

_"Okay, but only because it's your birthday." _

_"I thought you had forgotten." _

_"I didn't forget. I was just waiting for the perfect moment to say__Happy Birthday."_

_"So are you going to say it?" She was so cute._

_"No. Not yet."_

_"Just so I am clear, you don't think this moment is perfect?" Pretty close._

_"No. But it's pretty damn close." I put my arms around her neck. "Are you going to lead or do I have to?"_

_"No. I'll lead." She spun me around and I laughed. _

_"Now if we just had some music," I said, even though we didn't really need it._

_"I can sing to you." Those eyes were on me and I was mesmerized._

_We were dancing so closely, faces inches apart. My arms so comfortable around her, her hands tight on my hips._

_I heard her start singing quietly. Almost a whisper._

"_When the rain is blowing in your face__,_

_And the whole world is on your case__,_

_I would offer you a warm embrace__,_

_To make you feel my love__,"_

_It was in that very moment that I knew. I loved her. I was in love with her._

"_When the evening shadows and the stars appear__,_

_And there is no one there to dry your tears__,_

_I could hold you for a million years__,_

_To make you feel my love__,_

_I know you haven't made your mind up yet__,_

_But I would never do you wrong__,_

_I've known it from the moment that we met__,_

_No doubt in my mind where you belong__,"_

_I couldn't help but lean into her and rest my head in the crook of her neck. It had been so long since I had felt this comfortable, this… I don't know. Everything felt so right._

"_I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue__,_

_I'd go crawling down the avenue__,_

_There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do__,_

_To make you feel my love__,_

_The storms are raging on a rolling sea__,_

_And down the highway of regret__,_

_The winds of change are blowing wild and free__,_

_But you ain't seen nothin' like me yet__,"_

_The rain started to pick up and I lifted my head up__towards the sky, letting the rain wash away the few tears that had fallen. I looked back to Ashley and her hands found my face, her fingers wiping away drops of rain, maybe even some hidden tears. _

"_I could make you happy, make your dreams come true__,_

_Nothing that I wouldn't do__,_

_Go to the ends of the earth for you__,_

_To make you feel my love__."_

_She started shaking and I pulled her closer with one arm as I placed my other hand over the hand that she had on my face. I closed my eyes, taking in the moment. When I opened them I saw a tear fall from her eye and I wiped it. I couldn't stop myself from leaning in and kissing the spot where I had wiped the tear. My feelings were getting the best of me. Holding back was no longer something I could do, or wanted to do. I cupped her face with both hands and when my lips touched hers, I could feel everything all at once. If I had any doubt that I was in love with her, all of those doubts were washed away by the rain, and these incredible new feelings that were overwhelming every inch of my heart, body and mind. _

_I reluctantly pulled away and then leaned in again for a quick, soft kiss._

_"Happy Birthday__,__ Ashley."_

_**Ashley's P.O.V.**_

"The best and worst birthday I ever had," I said, looking off into the darkening night sky.

"I wouldn't change a second of that day, Spence. Not even the bad parts. You were amazing that night. I don't know if I ever told you that." I looked over at her and immediately recognized the look on her face. I saw the same look that night and the night we spent here, on our first date. It surprised me because I didn't think I would ever see that look again.

"The last time we were here, you told me that you'd always love me. You would always love me, as long as this," I placed my hand over my heart, "never changed."

I worked up the nerve, taking a chance and sliding my hand into hers.

"My heart hasn't changed. I'm still that girl you fell in love with. I just lost my way, and I'm going to fight like hell to find my way back."

"Ashley, you've been through so much…"

"Okay, so I'm not the same girl. Not even close. But my heart is the same heart." I lifted her hand to my chest much like I did the day at the beach.

"See, it still beats so fast whenever you touch me. It's still yours. If… you still want it." I tried to hold back tears, but they fell anyway. I had never been so scared, waiting on her reply.

She wiped away a tear of her own.

"Of course I still want it. I'm here aren't I?" Her lips trembled and I didn't stop myself from reaching over and pulling her into my arms. I closed my eyes as I held her tight. Not missing the soft sobs that were coming from her mouth as she held me even tighter.

"I miss you so much," she whispered.

"I know, and I'm sorry, baby." I kissed her head, then she pulled away to look at me. "I miss you too, Spence, so much."

Her hand reached up and caressed my cheek. I closed my eyes at her warm and soothing touch.

"You haven't lost me, Ashley. I'm right here, where I've always been. I've been here waiting for you. I just didn't think it would take this long. You've come a long way, and I know you'll find your way back."

"Will you help me?" My voice cracked as the words quietly came out.

She looked straight into my eyes, those blue eyes so serious.

"I'll always help you find your way back."

A lump formed in my throat. And this time the tears that fell from my eyes were happy tears.

I leaned my forehead towards her and she pulled my head into her shoulder, holding me, comforting me.

It had been probably around ten minutes or so that I sat there, being held by my wife. No words were needed. I didn't want anything to interrupt this moment. It had been too long since I felt her arms around me and I never wanted her to let me go.

"Ash?" She whispered.

"Yeah, Spence," I replied with a smile at her calling me Ash.

"Can I ask you something?" She said with a serious tone.

"Sure, anything." I stood up and faced her.

"Can we have dessert now?" She deadpanned but then smiled an adorable child-like smile.

I shook my head and laughed. Inside I was letting out a big sigh of relief.

Everything was going to be okay.

* * *

**_Reviews are loverly! Let me know what you think._**


	4. Chapter 4

Once again, I apologize for the wait. Being a mom and a wife with a full-time is exhausting and sometimes I'm even too tired to think. There will be at least one more chapter after this, possibly two. It all depends on whether or not my mind wanders off into Spashley land again. We can only hope :)

Thank you, as always, Steph and Smurfy : )

_I own the story only._

* * *

_"Four, repeat steps one through three." _

_**3 months ago**_

_The melody was stuck in my head for days, some random notes that just happened to flow well together. I sat down at my piano; the lid was closed over the keys. I had not touched it since before I left for the tour, yet it didn't have one speck of dust on it. Spencer kept it clean. Silently hoping I would find my way back to it someday. And here I sat, staring at the beautiful instrument, made almost entirely __of __hard rock maple and nearly flawless after fifty years and three owners__: __my grandmother, my dad and me. I sat here with the simple melody playing over and over in my head. I slowly lifted the lid and heard the familiar creak of the aged hinges and I __remembered __sitting with my grandma and dad as they played. My fingers ran over the keys, not pressing, just feeling. I closed my eyes and let the melody take over. My fingers finding the keys and playing the melody out loud. My eyes still closed, I smiled. It was time to start writing again._

_The next day I worked on adding lyrics to the melody. I was joined by Alexander; he surprised me by taking a seat on the bench next to me. His little eyes just watched as my fingers ran over the keys, he was observing. He did that a lot. His mind was like a sponge, soaking in every bit of knowledge he could. By the second day, I was almost finished. I played it over and over, trying out different keys, changing a few words. Alexander came and sat down with me again. Never saying a word, just watching. By the third day, I had it. I was once again surprised__when little Alexander clapped his hands behind me. I turned around and he wore a smile I had never seen on his face before. It was a very happy day._

_In the week after, I had practiced the song a few times. Never knowing if I ever intended on anyone else hearing it. I was in the kitchen with Alyssa when I heard someone playing with my piano. As I entered the room I saw him. Alexander sat there, his little fingers pressing down on each key. When he would reach the end, he started over again. Then he would stop, get down __off __the bench and go back to his puzzles. This happened for 4 days straight. The same time every day. Then on the fifth day, he did his usual, pressing every key, starting over again and then…He started playing a familiar melody, the one I had played for days, the one I had just written. I ran into the room, unsure it could be real. But there he sat at my piano, playing my song. I cannot explain what it felt like in that moment. I never thought for even a second that Alexander would ever play a musical instrument. When Ashton and Alyssa showed very little interest, it broke my heart to think none of my kids would share my love of music. I leaned against the door way and I smiled through happy tears. I was joined by Ashton, who smiled as well. He knew he was seeing something special. _

_For the next few weeks we played together. First I would play a song and then he repeated it. I didn't have to teach him anything, he learned on his own, by ear. _

_Spencer worked until 6 o'clock every day and as much as I know she would have been so happy to see all of this happening. I wanted it to be a surprise. We had just finished playing the song I had __written__, like we did every day, and Alexander was giddy about playing it for her._

"_We have to wait, okay buddy?"_

"_For how long?"_

"_Until the perfect moment comes along."_

"_When will the perfect moment come, come along? Next week, next year, twenty, twenty years from now?" _

_Alexander had always been a very quiet boy, but I had noticed lately he was beginning to talk more. This happened mostly during piano time._

"_Hopefully we won't have to wait twenty years," I laughed._

"_I would rather not wait at all," he said seriously._

"_How about we practice more, so that when the perfect time comes, we'll give Mom the best performance ever." _

_He nodded his head. "I think, I think that is a wonderful idea."_

* * *

We were at the Carlin residence. Dinner had just been served. I stood in the family room staring at the small piano in the corner. Alexander and I had practiced nearly every single day and every single day he would ask me if the perfect time had come yet. I noticed him eye the piano the moment we walked in the door. He did that every time we visited lately. Luckily, he was all about routine. Piano time was from 3 p.m. to 4 p.m. every week day.

After dinner I walked out to the back porch. Gram wanted to have a chat. Lately that meant, Gram wanted to yell at me.

"Sit down!" She ordered from behind her large mug of coffee.

I did what I was told.

"You and Spencer seem different tonight. You talk to her finally?"

"We went on a date last night." I smiled remembering how she held me.

"Is that so? Did you tell her you were sorry and that you've been a fool and an idiot?"

"I did."

"How are the wedding plans going?"

"Very good. It's going to be a beautiful ceremony. Exactly what the bride deserves."

"Well, I'm glad you finally got your head out of your ass. Come here."

I walked over and she stood, pulling me into a hug.

"I never thought you two couldn't get through this. I never lost hope."

"It's been a crazy couple of years Gram."

"Ya know, sweet pea, when love isn't madness, it is not love."

"That's pretty deep, Gram."

"I thought so too. Spencer used the quote last week when we were talking about the two of you. She still loves you."

"I still love her."

"You shouldn't wait to tell her that. Not til tomorrow, or even this weekend. You should never wait to tell someone you love them. Tell them every chance you get."

"Another quote?"

"No. Just some advice from a very wise, very old woman."

"Thanks, Gram."

"Of course, dear. Now what're you waiting for?"

* * *

"Okay boys, this is it! It's time, Alex."

"It's the perfect moment?" He asked with wide eyes.

"Yep, it's show time, buddy. Are you ready for this?"

He nodded his head vigorously.

"Okay, Ashton, you're up. Do your thing!"

As Alexander and I walked into the living room where the piano was, Ashton approached Spencer.

_**Spencer's P.O.V.**_

"Mother?" I turned to see Ashton headed my way. He kneeled down on one knee and grabbed my hand, kissing the top of it. I eyed him suspiciously. He did things like this a lot. He was Ashley's son, after all.

"Your presence is requested in the living room."

What was he up to now? Better yet, what was Ashley up to? I hadn't seen her in a while.

I stood from my chair as he stood up and pulled me into the room. My heart nearly jumped from my chest the moment I turned the corner to see Alexander sitting at the piano, his fingers slowly starting to move over the keys.

He was playing You Are My Sunshine. My son, Alexander, was playing a song on the piano. I clutched my chest, my mouth wide open. I could not believe it. One glance over at Ashley and I lost it. She was watching me, a few tears in her eyes as well. He finished the song and before he could turn around I was hugging him, praising him.

"Oh baby, you were amazing. When did you start playing the piano?"

"Just something I, I picked up a few months ago. I like to play."

I was as proud as a mother could possibly be. I always knew he was special, he proved that time and time again.

"I have one more song to play. Mom is going to, Mom is going to help."

Ashley walked towards us and in that moment, I wanted to kiss her so bad.

"There is something that we've wanted to play for you for some time now. I hope you like it." She leaned in and kissed my cheek, letting her lips linger there. They were warm and soft and my heart stopped again. I missed the simple touches from my wife. The way she held my hand just to hold it. The way she would come up behind me and kiss my shoulder to say hello. The way her hand would always find my lower back when we were standing next to each other. It was all the little things I noticed, when they stopped happening.

Everyone had made their way into the room as Alexander started to play. Ashley left my side and leaned up against the piano; the sight of them at the piano together brought me an overwhelming sense of joy.

He played so beautifully and reminded me so much of her. Then her voice filled the air and like always, I was in awe. I hadn't forgotten how amazing she sounded but it had been so long since I heard her voice over anything but the iPod or CD player.

_From across the room,_

_I held your gaze,_

_Lost in your eyes,_

_I just couldn't look away,  
_

_Mesmerized by your smile,_

_I couldn't get you out of my head,_

_Feeling things I'd never felt,_

_Saying things I'd never said,  
_

_You… yeah,_

_It's always been you,_

_I remember how you love me,_

_And on the dark nights,_

_You pull me through,_

_Always you,  
_

_Just the simplest touch of your hand,_

_And with a few kind words spoken,_

_You awakened my lifeless soul,_

_And fixed all that was broken,  
_

_My heart beat with a purpose,_

_Filled with hope and love,_

_Wanting and needing only you,_

_The only one I dreamt or thought of,  
_

_You… yeah,_

_It's always been you,_

_I remember how you love me,_

_And on the dark nights,_

_You pull me through,_

_Always you,  
_

_After all of these years,_

_Through the good and bad,_

_I don't regret a single day,_

_Each day I was lucky to have,  
_

_The time and miles we spent apart,_

_When endless roads were all I could see,_

_I would lay down and close my eyes,_

_And it would be just you and me,  
_

_You…yeah,_

_It's always been you,_

_I remember how you love me,_

_And on the dark nights,_

_You pull me through._

_Always you,  
_

_And in times when I doubted our love,_

_I'd go back to the start,_

_To the only home I've ever known,_

_In your arms and in your heart,  
_

_You,_

_Yeah,_

_Always you_,

She never took her eyes off me the entire song. I felt that familiar tug at my heart that I always felt when she sang to me. Add in the excitement of seeing my son play the piano, and I was a mess.

Everyone started clapping all around me and she smiled and looked down at her feet. I walked over and lifted her head with my hands.

"I love you, Ashley."

And before she could respond my lips were on hers. A soft and simple kiss, but the first kiss I had shared with my wife in months. I didn't want to pull away. She lifted her hands to her face, holding them over mine, almost as if she were trying to keep me there. I pulled away slowly, my eyes transfixed on hers, those deep, brown eyes that had looked so sad over the last year, were full of life once again.

"Mom!"

"Mom!"

I felt a tug on my shirt and looked down to see Alexander smiling up at me.

"Did I do good?"

"You did amazing, honey. I am so proud of you."

I wrapped him up in my arms and kissed the top of his head.

"So amazing," I whispered in his ear.

"What about Mom? Did she, did she do a good job?"

Alexander looked up at Ashley and I did the same.

"Yes, she did!"

"Can I have some dessert now?" Alexander asked.

I nodded and he ran off.

"I can't believe what just happened," I said, facing her again. The room was suddenly empty. It was just the two of us.

"I wanted to tell you when it first started. But I wanted it to be a surprise."

"How did you teach him?"

"I really didn't. He taught himself. He's so smart, Spence."

"Yeah," I laughed. "He's brilliant. And you…" I shook my head and wiped a few happy tears that had streamed down my face. "You… thank you. That song, you singing again, Alexander playing the piano, I'm just so happy right now."

"You don't have to thank me. That kiss was enough." She smiled at me and there went my heart again.

I wouldn't soon forget everything we had gone through over the past few years, but the woman I fell in love with was standing right in front of me. I had hoped so many times that she would come back to me. I didn't want to get too excited though. We still had a lot to talk about. We had to work on some things.

That night, even though we had always shared the same bed, we slept… together. We held each other. I had missed the feeling of being in my wife's arms. Her warmth, her breath on my neck, the feeling of safety her arms gave being tight around me. More of the little things that were never really little at all. Even though it had been so long, it felt so normal, so natural. I fell asleep fast.

_**Ashley's P.O.V.**_

It was Friday morning. I had just left my warm and comfortable bed, not to mention my wife's warm and comfortable arms, to go pick Chris up from the airport. The wedding was less than three days away and we still had a lot of work to do. Miranda and Spencer were going to look at cakes. Couldn't have a wedding without a cake, right? I had to take Chris to get a tux and then we were going to plan a bachelor party. Glen volunteered to help, of course. I was thankful for the help though, I didn't really know that many guys and Chris, like Miranda, didn't really have any family.

"You know what happens if you screw this up, right?" I asked Chris after giving him a big hug.

He didn't say anything, just shook his head.

"I love you too, Ashley."

_**Spencer's P.O.V.**_

"So that little show Ashley put on last night, amazing huh?"

"Amazing doesn't quite fit. But something like that." My mind wandered off to the look in her eyes and the kiss on my cheek.

"Spence?! Where'd ya go?"

"Sorry, Miranda." I had been doing it all morning. I was surprised she just noticed.

"It's okay. I know you were thinking about Ash. That makes me all sorts of happy. We both knew she would come around."

"Yeah, just wish it wouldn't have taken so long. I missed her so much."

I grabbed the handle to the car door and was ready to get out when Miranda pulled me back.

"You guys are going to be okay, right?" she asked. She looked worried.

"I think so. We've become closer over the last few days. We actually slept together last night." I smiled, drifting off to thoughts of my wife.

"Spence, you're doing it again."

I laughed. "I'm allowed to think about Ashley, Miranda. She is my wife."

"So you guys… slept together last night?"

"Yes, we SLEPT together last night. It was nice. I slept better than I have in a while."

"So is it safe to say that she is going to be your date to my wedding?"

"Oh my gosh! Can we get in there before the store closes? We have to have a cake. Can't have a wedding without a cake."

"Okay, but I'm letting you pick it out. I have no idea what to get."

"It's your wedding Miranda. It's your cake to pick out."

"Yes, but I'm new to this getting married thing. You've done it twice so you're an expert."

"I will HELP you pick out a cake. It's what I'm here for."

"Fine, but if my guests don't like it, I'm blaming you."

We finally made it into the bakery. After about an hour of looking through books and sampling all of the different choices, we picked out the perfect cake. Of course, Miranda couldn't decide. We picked out the three best choices and then both agreed on one. I'm pretty sure we both left the bakery on a sugar high.

On the way home we talked about a bachelorette party. She just wanted something simple. Dinner and a few drinks and dancing at the club afterwards.

"Speaking of drinks, did you find a bartender?"

"I did. I called about 5 or 6 of them on my lunch hour yesterday. I wrote down all of the options and prices." I opened my purse to find the paper but it wasn't in there. "I think I left the paper on my desk at work. Ash is out that way, I'll have her pick it up."

"After that, I think we are all set. Now we just have to sit back, relax and hope everything goes as planned."

"It will, Miranda. Everything is going to be perfect."

_**Ashley's P.O.V.**_

"I'll be right back," I said to Chris as I shut the door. I had to stop and pick up something Spencer had forgotten in her classroom. Ahhhh, college life. I hadn't been on campus in so long. Nothing had changed though. It had the same smell; the students walking around had that same stressed/rushed look about them. It took me a while to find Spencer's room. It had moved to a different building since last time I was here. I walked to her desk and sat down. I found the paper right away but didn't want to leave just yet. Happy to be in a place that she loved so much. Her desk was filled with pictures of the kids and one of us on our wedding day. After a few minutes I finally got up to leave but I was distracted by a book at the front of her desk. _Poetry of E.E. Cummings_. I sat back down and picked up the old and torn book. I ran my fingers over indented words on the cover as I did so many times before. I hadn't even noticed it was gone from my office at home. I wondered how long ago she had taken it. Curious, I opened the book and looked for the poem.

_**12 years ago**_

_I opened my book to look for The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, the first story we were discussing. There was a page marked that I didn't remember marking. It was Somewhere I Have Never Travelled, Gladly Beyond by E. E. Cummings. The same poem that I had quoted in the note that Spencer caught Madi and I passing to each other over a month ago. There was a little post-it note that had marked the page. It had something written on the back of it._

_What you mean to me…Stanza 5_

_It was in Spencer's handwriting. I looked down at the poem._

"_I don't know what it is about you that closes and opens, only something in me understands; the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses"_

_I couldn't breathe. My eyes started to water. It was hard to swallow._

_This poem was always special to me. And when I thought of Spencer I always thought of this poem._

_What E.E. Cummings was saying was that he couldn't explain his feelings for his love. It was something he couldn't put into words. Because there weren't any. When he looked into his lover's eyes he could just feel how real and deep the love was. I guess that is the way that Spencer felt._

_I looked up at Spencer who was suddenly right beside my desk. She was handing out papers. She smiled at me but her eyes were telling me so much more. I smiled back and my eyes told her the same thing. "I love you."_

Just like back then, the page the poem was on was marked. This time it was marked by a picture. A picture of her and I. The same picture that was in my office.

_"I want to take a picture of this moment. So that if I ever need to, for some odd reason, I can always look back and remember how happy you make me."_

I sat back in the chair and held the picture tight in my grip. Spencer never gave up on me, she never stopped loving me, she held on to this picture and this poem, all to remember how much I loved her, how much I made her happy. It made me think about how lonely she must have felt, how scared, how tired and sad. I put her through so much. I pushed her away, and she never left.

I dropped Chris off at Glen's, where Spencer had left Miranda, and drove home as fast as I could. I had to see her, to talk to her. She was in the kitchen pouring herself a glass of iced tea when I walked in.

"Hey, did you get the list?" I didn't answer her. I just moved towards her and grabbed the glass out of her hand and set it down on the counter.

"Ashley, are you okay?"

My hands held hers and brought them up to my lips. I kissed each one and then let them go so I could hold her beautiful face.

"I love you, Spencer."

Leaning in, I softly pressed my lips to hers. I waited for a response and when I didn't get one, I started to pull away, but she pulled me back to her. Her hands held my hips as her lips reconnected with mine. Slow and gentle at first, almost as if we were rediscovering each other. Then the kisses got needy and hungry and when our tongues met, we both let go. We let go of everything that had kept us apart for so long and gave into the passion. I moved us towards the table and placed her on top of it. She sat on something, it was the book.

"Ash?" She held the book up.

"I found it on your desk."

She opened the book to the page and pulled the picture out.

"I'm sorry, Spencer. I'm sorry that you needed these things around you to remind you how happy I used to make you. I'm sorry I stopped making you happy." I looked down, ashamed of myself.

"Hey, look at me," she said, her voice always so comforting. I raised my head slowly and looked into her eyes.

"Relationships are tested every day. Love, commitment, loyalty, trust, all of it. It hasn't been easy, honestly. But I'm here, and you're here. And all of those things that had been tested are still here. You lost your way, Ashley. You didn't lose me. Ever. And you never will. I dealt with hard times, I put up with the distance, and I stuck around, because I love you. You're my wife and my best friend and I don't need any picture or book or poem to remind me of how happy you made me. I'm reminded of it every second of the day. When I look down at this ring on my hand, when I look at our children, when I hear a certain song, or watch a romantic movie, when I see a piano, or feel the rain on my face, when I look up at the stars and the moon, or feel the sand between my toes."

She pulled me into her and wrapped her arms around my shaking body.

"Everywhere, everything, reminds me of you, and us, and all of the happiness you have given me."

Our faces were inches apart, tears falling from our eyes.

"I love you and I always will. I've missed you, I need you and god do I want you."

Her lips touched my cheek, kissing it, and slowly moved towards my ear.

"Take me upstairs, to our room, to our bed. Let me show you how much."

* * *

_Okay, don't kill me for the end. Feel free to leave a review though :) _

_The song belongs to me. Please do not steal it :) :)_

_If you're not already, follow me on twitter at **1sparkles04**_

_and these awesome peeps.. steph_garc12 and mcsmurfington_


	5. Chapter 5

**So, this is the final chapter. I want to thank everyone who has read and/or reviewed. You don't know how much I have appreciated the support. I'm not sure if/when I will be writing a new story. Things are crazy right now and finding the quiet time to write isn't as easy as it once was. I will try, I can promise that. PLEASE leave a review. I love hearing what you think and it is very inspiring. :)**

**I hope you enjoy the final chapter. **

**Thank you to Steph for being consistently supportive throughout this story and all of my others and to Smurfy who is an awesome Beta. Give them a shout out if you review. **

**_I own this story. That is all!_**

**This chapter is RATED M!**

* * *

_"Five, make you fall in love with me."_

_**Chapter 5**_

"Where are the kids?"

I didn't want them walking in on us. Ashton had done it over a year ago and he didn't stop asking questions for a week.

"With… my… mom," She said between the kisses that she was gently pressing to my neck.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of my wife's warm lips on my skin, dragging slowly up and down my neck, her teeth finally latching onto my ear.

"Come on," she whispered before pulling me by my shirt towards the stairs.

My phone rang from my pocket and I stopped to take a quick look. It was Miranda.

"Are you coming?" Spencer asked as she made her way up the stairs. Once she reached the top she pulled her shirt up over her head. I caught a glimpse of her bare back and a familiar twinge of excitement sent shivers all over my body.

I quickly walked up the stairs. Okay, okay… I ran. "You're going to have to wait, Miranda," I said into the air.

When I walked into the room, I was stopped in my tracks. I couldn't walk any further, I couldn't breathe.

Spencer stood by the side of the bed, her eyes looking directly into mine, her beautiful bare chest moving up and down so fast.

"I'm nervous," she said quietly.

"Awww, baby, don't be."

I walked over to her and took her face in my hands.

"You're so beautiful." My fingers traced the planes of her face.

"Are you trying to distract me from being so nervous? It's not working."

"What do you have to be so nervous for? It's me, Spence. It's just me."

"I know."

"What happened since we left the kitchen? You didn't seem nervous then." I chuckled.

"You weren't looking at me like you are now."

"I'm sorry. I can't help it. I know it hasn't been THAT long but I feel like… I'm seeing you for the first time and I can't look away."

"I don't want you to look away."

"How can I make you less nervous?"

My fingers lightly traced her lips.

"Just kiss me," she whispered.

My lips met hers with a force as I slid my hands down her sides, feeling her shiver underneath them. I slowed the kiss down enough to find her tongue and tangle it with mine.

I could hear it in the background, the ringing. Stupid damn phone. Spencer slid her hand in my back pocket and pulled the phone out.

"It's Miranda again. Maybe you should talk to her. It could be important."

"This is important." I leaned in and brushed my lips across her neck.

"This can wait a little longer. I'm not going anywhere." She climbed onto the bed and lay down on her back. "I'll be right here waiting."

Damn you Miranda for always interrupting.

**Spencer's P.O.V.**

I couldn't believe how nervous I was. I wasn't even that nervous the first time we made love. Ashley's eyes on me, the way they scanned my body so slowly, so seductively, the darkness in them; they gave me a different feeling than I had ever felt, a new feeling, a feeling I liked very much, but a feeling that made me, well… nervous.

The kiss, just like I knew it would, washed away all of that. My knees went from shaking to just plain weak. The minute those lips touched mine, everything felt as it should. The trust, the love, the passion, it was all there, but it had intensified. It was stronger than ever.

Of course Miranda had to interrupt. She always called or walked in just as things were getting good. Like that one time…

**_12 years ago_**

_She sang a few more songs. All of them written about me. I felt so overwhelmed with love for this girl._

_She thanked the crowd and went backstage. I excused myself and headed downstairs. Miranda smirked at me and I smiled and shrugged._

_The big burly guy, Mark I think, let me in her room with a knowing smile. He didn't even say anything__,__ he just opened the door. I walked in and noticed a trail of clothes leading to the bathroom door again. I shook my head with a chuckle and walked over to the couch and sat down. As I sat there waiting for her I pondered just going into the bathroom and joining her in the shower. I started biting my nails and bouncing my knee._

_"Why ya so nervous__,__ Spence?" A low husky voice whispered in my ear. I shivered and jumped. She walked around the couch and sat down next to me._

_"Not nervous. Anxious," I whispered back and leaned in to kiss her._

_"Anxious__,__ huh?" She said pulling away from the kiss._

_I pulled her back into me and kissed her with every ounce of passion within me. She quickly straddled me and I found her neck, nibbling and licking and sucking._

_"Mmmm__,__ Spence."_

_My lips left her neck and I looked up at her._

_"So I take it you liked my performance tonight?" she said hovering over me. Her eyes were dark and her lips were parted. She was breathing heavy and her hands were in my hair__,__ gently massaging._

_I shook my head and smiled. "I loved it. I couldn't wait to get back here and show you just how much."_

_I cradled her face and pulled her back to my lips. I couldn't help but let out a quiet whimper. I let my tongue trace her lips and she parted them for me. My tongue instantly met hers and bit down lightly before sucking on it. She moaned and I smiled into her open mouth. I loved having this effect on her._

_I knew we were bordering on the point of no return, I just couldn't stop kissing her and I didn't want to. My hands started slowly moving up her waist and I felt her shiver under my touch. Before I knew it they had found her breasts. It was then that I realized she wasn't wearing a bra. It was also then that I realized she was only wearing a shirt and her panties. If I wasn't already turned on__,__ I was now. In fact I was extremely turned on. I lifted her shirt off effortlessly and my mouth went straight for her nipple. I latched on and she threw her head back. A loud gasp followed which only turned me on more. Her eyes were closed and she was biting her bottom lip. I bit down and then licked around her nipple. My hand found her other breast and started rolling the nipple between my fingers. Her hips bucked into me and this time it was me who moaned. I pulled on the bud hard and sucked it into my mouth._

_"God Spence," Ashley moaned followed by another whimper._

_And that was it. I was done for. There was no turning back now. My hand started moving slowly and uncontrollably down her stomach until it reached her center. Even over her panties I could feel how hot and wet she was. I had never been turned on more in my entire life. I let go of her nipple and looked up at her again. Her eyes were the darkest I had ever seen them. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips were parted. She looked so damn beautiful._

_I started rubbing her softly through her panties and she threw her head back again. The sight above me was doing things to my body that I had never felt. Ashley's beautiful breasts were bouncing slightly as she grinded into my fingers. Her toned abs were flexed and glistened with a light coat of sweat. The sounds coming out of her mouth were egging me on. I wanted to keep making her feel good. I wanted more of her. I stopped rubbing just enough to slide my hand into her panties._

_She picked her head back up and looked down at me._

_"Spence?"_

_"Shhhh__,__" I said before placing gentle open mouthed kisses all of her face and lips._

_The moment my fingers found her wet lips she closed her eyes and her mouth opened wide to let out a deep moan. Suddenly I felt my own wetness seep through my panties. She felt so warm, so damn wet and so amazing. She threw her head back again and her breasts pushed out towards me._

_Knock Knock Knock_

_"Fuck!" Ashley groaned._

_Are you kidding me right now?_

_Knock Knock Knock_

_"Damn it." I looked up at Ashley's flushed face and she released a deep breath._

_"Guess we were meant to wait." She shrugged._

_Then she did the sexiest thing I think I have ever witnessed. She pulled my hand out of her panties and slid my fingers into her mouth. She slowly sucked on both fingers and then leaned in and kissed me hard. I could taste her on her tongue. I had never experienced anything like that and it only made me want her more. I wanted all of her._

_Knock Knock Knock_

_"Alright already. Stop with the knocking," She yelled. "I'm coming." She smirked at me and of course__,__ I blushed._

_She leaned down and kissed me once more before slowly lifting herself off of me and heading towards the door while throwing her shirt back on._

_"Ashley!" I called out and she turned around._

_"Pants." She just shrugged and opened the door._

_Mark and Miranda were both standing at the door. Mark's mouth dropped open and Miranda just shook her head at the sight of Ashley wearing nothing but her shirt and panties. Ashley let Miranda in and shut the door in Mark's face while snickering._

_"It smells like sex in here."_

"What are you thinking about?" Ashley whispered in my ear and I jumped, nearly banging heads with her.

"It must have been good. I said your name twice and you didn't hear me."

"I must have fallen asleep," I lied.

"Well… you were moaning in your sleep?"

"What? I was not moaning." Oh my God! I was totally moaning.

"You were moaning, Spence. What was going through that brain of yours? Tell me!" She started tickling my sides. She knew I would spill. I couldn't handle the tickling.

"Fine." I gave in right away. She knew me so well.

"I was thinking about that time at the club, on the couch."

"Ummmmm?" She tapped her finger against her chin like she was thinking. "I don't recall. You might have to reenact it for me to jog my memory."

"I have no problem with that. You'll have to lose the pants."

She slid off the bed and took off her pants. "Now what?"

"Come here," I said while patting my lap.

She slowly climbed back onto the bed and straddled me. "Now wh…" I didn't let her finish. My mouth was on hers fast. Prior to the kitchen, I couldn't remember the last time we had kissed like this and I reveled in every feeling, every taste and every tingle. My hands grabbed on to the hem of her shirt and pulled it slowly up and off of her body. Luckily for me, my wife still didn't like wearing a bra. My lips latched onto a hard nipple and much like before, she threw her head back.

My mouth on her breasts, my fingers rubbing her over her panties, her moans, her whimpers. Everything happening just as it did all of those years ago. Thankfully, this time there were no interruptions. As my fingers slid through her wetness, her breasts, just as beautiful as they were back then, bounced slightly as she grinded into my hand. She took over the memory by grabbing my hand and pulling it up to her lips. She wrapped her mouth around both fingers and slowly sucked. Her eyes were on mine and this time it was me who leaned in and kissed her hard. Before the kiss could deepen she stopped.

"I think it's time we make some new memories."

That deep and raspy voice still had quite the effect on me. Along with those eyes, I was all hers, every inch of my body, every piece of my heart, every part of my soul, belonged to her, forever.

Her hot mouth descended torturously slow down my body, her tongue sneaking out to taste and her teeth biting down softly. When she wrapped her lips around a nipple, I was sure I was going to come right then. It was obvious that I had missed the feeling, the feeling of her warm, wet lips, the feeling of her soft and talented hands gliding across every curve of my body, the feeling of her eyes on me, watching my every reaction to her touch, the feeling of complete, unadulterated love and passion. All the things only my wife could make me feel.

Every kiss felt new. Every lick and nip awakened all of my senses. I now understood what Ashley meant when she said she felt she was seeing me for the first time. When her mouth glided over my stomach, when her tongue dipped into my belly button, when her hands ran down my legs, it felt different than it had before. It was as amazing as I remember it, but a different kind of amazing. A better kind of amazing.

I closed my eyes tight as her teeth nipped at the soft skin of my inner thighs, her mouth leaving a trail of wet kisses down to my ankle and back up. Her eyes were so seductive, so inviting, so enticing. I kept my eyes closed, afraid I would come before she even touched me where I needed her so badly…and I didn't want to miss out on that.

"God I've missed you so much, Spence." She kissed my lower abdomen, letting her tongue sneak out and taste before slowly dragging it lower. Her hand found mine and she threaded our fingers together.

"Please look at me, baby. Let me see those eyes," she begged, her husky voice full of desperation.

I opened my eyes and looked down at her just as her tongue ran through my folds. I squeezed her hand tight and let out a long moan.

She didn't tease or draw it out. Her tongue started working quickly, only stopping to suck my clit into her warm mouth. Her fingers had perfect timing, filling me whole and moving fast and hard. It didn't take long after that. The pressure was intense as it built up, my stomach tightened, my mouth opened wide but nothing came out as it ripped through my body. Her tongue continued its movements on my clit but they became soft and slow. My body convulsed and trembled as I came down from the most powerful orgasm I had ever felt. She finally pulled out of me and moved up my body, leaving chaste kisses on my still quivering stomach, licking each nipple quickly, causing me to shudder.

"Hi," she said, finally face to face with me again.

"Hi," I replied, out of breath.

"You okay?"

I was still slightly trembling and she pulled me into her arms.

"I'm better than okay."

"Good." She kissed my sweaty forehead. "So… I still got it, huh?"

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "You still got it, babe."

"I love you, Spencer," She said, a serious tone this time.

"I love you, too."

**Ashley's P.O.V**

I could feel her breath on my neck, she had fallen asleep. I held her tight, not wanting to ever let go of the moment. I hadn't been this happy in years. Closing my eyes, I saw her face over and over again. I saw her eyes slam shut, her mouth open wide as we shared an incredible moment of pure bliss. Becoming one again. Making each other feel again.

I was exhausted but I forced my eyes back open, not wanting to sleep, not letting myself leave the moment of happiness I was having, afraid it wouldn't be there when I awoke. So I lay there, holding my wife, taking in the feeling of comfort and wholeness. Promising myself and a sleeping Spencer, I would never let it disappear again.

* * *

Later that night as we drove to the restaurant we were meeting Miranda at, she pulled my hand over the console and held it in her lap. "Thank you, for earlier."

She gave me a smile, the one and only Spencer smile and I felt like time had gone backwards and it was just the two of us again. Jumping in the car and just driving. Driving until nightfall and sleeping under the stars. Eating at little hole-in-the-wall diners while having conversations with people we would never see again. Driving back home and reminiscing about the time we had. Simple times back then, when pulling my hand across the console to hold it meant everything to me.

She had that knowing look in her eyes, the one that told me she was thinking the same thing I was.

"Maybe next weekend we can take one of those trips. Just you and me, and the road."

I just smiled and squeezed her hand.

Dinner was amazing. Miranda chose a simple Mediterranean place. We enjoyed our food but we enjoyed our company even more. Chelsea had come into town for the wedding. She still looked as gorgeous as she did in high school and even more so with the glow from her pregnancy. After many conversations about our time at Archer's and catching up with what was going on with everyone, we headed back to our place and had a few drinks. Around midnight, I stumbled outside for some fresh air. It didn't take long for me to notice the stars. They covered the dark night sky like a blanket and shone so bright over the lake. Instantly, my mind wandered to thoughts of Alyssa. It always did on nights like this. But it had been a long time since I was brave enough to talk to her. I didn't want to talk to her about all of my mistakes. I truly believed she could hear me and I didn't want her to be disappointed like everyone else was.

"I wish you were here, Lyss. I wish you were here instead of up there. I wish you could have all of this happiness I have. I lost it for a while. I was stupid. But… now that I have it back, it's so much more incredible than I could ever imagined. I wish you could feel that. For yourself. I wish you could see my family, I mean really see them and meet them. My boys, god I wish you could meet them. They're both so different even though they're twins. Each of them with their own little personalities. Ashton, he's all me. At least that's what Spencer says. All of my charm, wit and… stubbornness. And he's so confident already. Alexander, he's special. They keep trying to tell us he has a disorder, but I don't see it. I just see an amazing boy with extraordinary talents and a big brain like his mom. And he loves the piano, Lyss. He plays it better than me."

The tears started slowly falling from my tired eyes. I was already an emotional person, add alcohol to that and I was a mess. I wrapped my arms around my body, the cool night air creeping up on me.

"Alyssa reminds me of you. It can't be coincidence, right? She likes to listen to music. In fact, I think she has more songs on her iPod than I do. And she's got this calmness about her. She doesn't let things get to her. She's always telling me, 'it'll be alright mom.'" I laughed at her little voice in my head. "She's only five." I paused to wipe my eyes. "I tell her about you all of the time. I tell her how she was named after a strong, brave, and beautiful girl. A girl who is up in heaven with the angels. And she looks down at us and she smiles and she keeps us safe. At the end of the story, she always says, 'I'm special; I was named after an angel.'" I smiled through the tears falling and I could almost see her looking down through the stars.

"I know it's been a while since I talked to you last. A lot has happened since then. A lot of bad but things are getting better. I remember when you first found out about me and Spencer. I remember everything you said to me. 'Make sure you tell her you love her every chance you get.' Somehow I got away from that. I let her doubt my love for her. Never again, Lyss. Never again."

I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and closed my eyes to the warmth and comfort they created.

"Are you talking to Alyssa?"

"Yeah, but I'm finished for now."

"You sure? I can leave."

"No, don't leave."

We sat down in the sand and just held each other, enjoying the lit up sky and the sounds of night. A little later, Spencer helped a very sleepy me up to our room. Once again she held me and "I love you, Ashley. Always." Was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep in her arms.

* * *

It was the morning of the big day. I found myself pacing around the kitchen waiting for the first of the deliveries to be made. The backyard was being set up with a couple dozen white chairs and a tent full of tables and a small dance floor. Luckily, it was a beautiful day. Sunny, but not too hot, with a gentle breeze.

"Hey you!"

"Good morning, Miranda."

She gave me a quick hug and a large coffee.

"Thanks. Definitely needed this."

"Thought you might." She laughed. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling good. A little nervous."

"Yeah, me too."

"No worries. It's going to be the perfect day."

"Oh, I'm not worried." She gave me a big cheesy smile and another hug. "Where's Spence?"

"She went to pick up the kids. She should be back any minute. And I should get out there and check on the set up."

"Ash, wait." I stopped just before I opened the door.

"I know things were a little rocky for a while with you and Spence. But, I think she is a very lucky woman. The way you love her, how much you love her, I can only hope that Chris would do the things you've done for love. I hope that we can make each other as happy as you two make each other." I reached out and grabbed her hands.

"Thank you, Miranda. That means a lot, especially coming for you. And I have no doubt that you two will find your own happiness and that he'll love you with everything in him."

She pulled me into a hug. "Thanks, Ash."

"Cause if he doesn't, he's going to have to answer to me." I pounded my fist into my palm and she laughed.

"Go check on the set up, Ash!"

I gave her a wink and headed outside. The sun was still low in the sky and the reflection of the lake was so breathtaking. The chairs were all lined up on the short beach and it reminded me of my wedding day with Spencer. It was such a perfect day. I had a feeling today would be perfect too.

* * *

Everything was set, now we just had to wait. I was about to head up to help Spence with the kids when he walked in, my dad.

"Hey, Princess."

"Hi, Dad."

"Look, I know I've made mistakes, I know I lost your trust. I want you to know that it means so much to me that you can look past all of that and give your old man a second chance."

He looked down and put his hands in his pockets. Janet appeared by his side and looped her arm through his. She gave me a knowing smile and then they looked at each other and it was evident that they were very much in love.

"People make mistakes. I know that all too well. And I'm sure you have learned from your mistakes, as I have. We have two amazing women standing by our sides; we have to be the people that they deserve, for them and for ourselves. I love you, Dad. That hasn't changed and it never will."

He let go of Janet to pull me into his arms. It felt so good to be in my father's arms again. He kissed the top of my head and said, "When did you get so smart?"

I smiled into his chest. "My wife is a damn good teacher."

**Spencer's POV**

What a morning! All of the deliveries had been made, and through all of the chaos, Ashley and I got the kids dressed and even had time for a little make out session in the bathroom. What? If you would have seen what she was wearing under that dress…

I made my way back up to Miranda, who was sitting on our bed, biting her nails.

"Hey, you just got those done. Stop it!" I said as I walked in.

"I'm nervous, Spence. I just want everything to go as planned. And what if I forget what to say? And what if he… oh god…what if he changes his mind?" She stood up and started pacing around the room.

"Miranda, sit!" She sighed and took a seat at the end of the bed. I kneeled down in front of her. As I looked up at the beautiful bride to be, I got a little choked up.

"Don't cry, Spence. It's supposed to be a happy day."

"These are happy tears. I just can't help but see you as that little girl with pig tails and a lilac dress. I remember you asked if you would look as beautiful on your wedding day as I did."

"I remember too. You were a beautiful bride, Spencer. Even though you and Aiden got married in that courthouse, it was all so beautiful."

"Thanks, Miranda. Well, now it is time for you to be the beautiful bride. I know your brother is watching, and I know he is so proud of you and the woman you've become."

"Great! Now you've got me crying. I just had my make-up done!"

I pulled her into a hug and held her.

"One more thing." I opened my purse and pulled out a small box. "Something old."

It was her mother's wedding ring. Aiden had kept it for her for her special day. She knew what it was the moment she opened the box.

"Thank you, Spencer. Thank you, so much."

For the borrowed and blue, I gave her the silver bracelet with sapphires and diamonds that Ashley gave me on our 5th anniversary.

"Are you sure Ash won't mind?" She asked with wide eyes as I closed the clasp around her wrist.

"It was her idea. Now, something new." I pointed to the rectangular box on the dresser.

"It's like Christmas day!" Her face lit up.

She ripped open the box like a little kid and pulled out the white laced garter.

"I forgot I needed one of these."

"You don't really. But, it's tradition and it's for good luck."

She walked over to me and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug.

"Thank you. For everything. For today and for every day since I met you. You took me in and you gave me your love and a wonderful, happy home and I thank God every day for that. I love you."

"You're welcome, sweetie. I love you too."

She finally let go and I wiped the tears that sat still on her cheek.

"Okay, enough of this crying. Let's get you ready."

Our dresses were on and with a final glance in the mirror, we were ready. Miranda looked so beautiful. She picked out a simple white floor length dress. The perfect dress for the wedding we helped her plan. She didn't want anything over the top. She just wanted a small, simple wedding with her closest friends and family. I was surprised when she wanted me to help pick out everything, but she had no idea what she really wanted and she respected and trusted my opinions. She was very wise for her age and believed that as long as you had love, you didn't need much else. "I'll leave all those grand, romantic gestures to your crazy-in-love-with-you wife." Ashley wasn't known for her simplicity, but she definitely had her moments and when she did do something simple to show her love, it made it all that much more romantic.

There was still a half hour before it started and I was starting to get nervous myself.

"I'm going to go check on everything. Ashley's probably going crazy down there. I'll send her up if I can."

"No, Spence." She grabbed my arm. "Please don't go. I'm starting to freak out here."

"Okay, I won't go. I can just call her. Do you want me to have her come up?"

"No, it's okay. We talked before you got home and if she comes up here, I'm just going to cry again and ruin my make-up."

Her voice was calm over the phone but I could tell she was freaking out a bit herself. She told me everything was good and we were right on schedule. Chris was standing right next to her and she wasn't letting him out of her sight. I laughed thinking how scared he always was of Ashley. There was no way he was going anywhere.

"Love you, Ash. Remember, you're supposed to stare at the bride, not the person walking her down the aisle."

"I'll try my best. It won't be easy though."

I hung up the phone with a big grin on my face.

"Ash being cheesy again?"

"Of course. I love it when she's cheesy though."

"I sure hope you do. You're stuck with that for the rest of your life." She laughed.

"Yes… I am." Cue lovesick, dreamy smile.

There was a knock on the door and my mom poked her head in. "Ready?" She asked after smiling like a proud mom at the both of us.

I looked at Miranda and she nodded. She locked her hand with mine and we walked down the stairs, very slowly. As we walked through the patio door, we were hit with sunshine and we both had to quint. The closer we got, the easier it was to see. The trees blocked the sun and everything came into clear view. The violinist was playing a familiar song, a song Ashley had written for me a few years ago. I thought that was strange and when I looked for Ashley up at the altar, I was even more confused. I didn't see Chris, and Ashley was standing up there by herself, smiling at me.

I looked over at Miranda, who stopped and turned towards me.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Ashley's waiting for you."

"What? Where is Chris?"

"He's up there in the front row somewhere."

"Miranda, what is going on?" She smiled and grabbed a hold of both of my hands.

"Your wife… is waiting for you."

Oh my God.

"Wait. What? This is _your_ wedding day."

"No, it's not. Not yet anyway. Today is _your_ day."

"You're not getting married?"

"Oh, I am. In the Fall."

She gave my hands a squeeze and smiled.

"So… this whole time, we were planning… _my_ wedding?"

"Why do you think I made you pick everything out?"

"But you, what was all of that up there in my room?"

"I had to play my part and help Ash out." She pursed her lips and shrugged.

Oh wow. It all made sense now.

I was speechless. I couldn't believe it. My eyes quickly found Ashley's. She looked unsure, worried.

"Come on. Before Ashley has a heart attack." Miranda joked. She looped her arm around mine and we walked down the aisle. I tilted my head to the side and gave her a soft smile, trying to hold back my tears. I could see her relax as I walked towards her. Those eyes never left mine, molding together, never wanting to look away.

She held out her hand and I slid mine into it and gave it a gentle squeeze. We walked hand in hand up to the altar and stood in front of the minister. Ashley turned to face me. I'm sure I still had that look of shock on my face. I still couldn't believe this was happening.

"Surprised, huh?" She smiled and her nose crinkled. It was always my favorite smile.

"Yes, a little." I laughed. "Okay, a lot."

"Spence, you know I'd never pass up the chance to get up on a stage and tell the world how much I love you. Or show off my wife, who is always the most beautiful woman in the room. So of course, here I am, standing up here in front of our closest family and friends. Standing up here in front of those who know, as much as I do, how incredible you are. I'm standing up here, hoping for, not a new beginning, but a… continuation. Hoping to, not forget about the bad times, but move past them… together. I love you, Spencer Ann Davies. Please say you'll marry me, again."

She still had a way of moving me with her words. With one look, she could still give me butterflies and red cheeks. I was still hers, my body, heart and soul. Through the hard times, none of that had changed.

I didn't have to say the words, I just smiled and took both of her hands in mine.

A tear trickled down her cheek. "There it is," she whispered so only I could hear. Her hand reached up to caress my cheek.

"There what is?" I asked.

"The sparkle."

**Ashley's P.O.V.**

She smiled and that sparkle, the one I hadn't seen in so long, was back in her eyes.

We renewed our vows in front of all of our loved ones. But it meant the most that our children got to see us pledge our loved to each other, once again. This time around everything had more meaning. This time around, I completely understood the words I was saying. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health… I wasn't naïve this time around. I knew better. Things change, people change, feelings change. As long as you don't give up hope, as long as you fight for what you love, you can overcome anything.

"_If ever I believe my work is done, then I'll start back at one.__"_

_The end_


End file.
